For My Brother

It came to my realization that while my teenage years were centered around high school as most of us can relate, I have left one or two enormous gaps in my story outside the classroom.

In December 1977, when I was 16 years old, my brother died at the age of 27. This is the brother that took me to movies, gave me rides on his motorcycle, etc. He was a real paradox to me. I really looked up to him as a source of relief from a rather gloomy youth. This man could make anybody laugh. Anybody! He could have been a stand up comic from my point of view. Did you ever experience a laughing fit while sipping a soda and having it pass through your nasal cavity? He did that to me. He could command the room at will.

Also, he was a stupendous bowler. Our family has bowling in our blood and my brother lead the way. He could use either hand, roll it between his legs, make trick shots, whatever. I was told that the occasional sponsor would check him out.

He made me profoundly aware of the music of the times. I'd ride with him when he drove for the Union City Flea Bus System. Many, many times I hung out where he'd work for 1/4 lb. Hamburgers, the Bay Area chain of fast food restaurants. Little did I know, this was another prod toward obesity as I chowed down on free hamburgers, fries, and Cokes. I went with him on his routes when he sold meat out of a company van. He was a REAL salesman! He cornered the market on charisma, so it's no surprise he was popular with the ladies.

But then there was the other side of the coin. Like my sister, he got caught up in drugs. He didn't go to the lengths she did as far as victimizing family and friends, but he was ultimately self-destructive. When I was stuck practically raising my sister's kid, he would occasionally add on by dropping off the baby daughter of his best friend while they would go out couples partying. So that meant I'd have 2 babies to care for from time to time. Gives new meaning to the old phrase "bonus baby".

By the time he became a father, I was 15 and had repressed the bad things I saw in him and basically turned a blind eye to how bad things were getting for him. He had a heart murmur but wouldn't stop using. Thank God at least at that time I resisted when he or my sister tried to get me to experiment. They both knew I drew the line when it came to that junk!

Then, quite suddenly, he became hospitalized. We'd visit, but I didn't know the severity of his condition. As a newly licensed driver, I drove to the hospital one day for what I thought would be a routine visit. As I was walking in, my other brother was walking out. I asked him how he was doing. He just said, "He's gone." Just like that. He was gone.

To this day I think of how very very different life would be had he lived and not done the drugs. Where would our paths have lead? What would we be doing? Anyone's life being cut short like that causes a hell of a ripple effect. As far as I'm concerned, this was a tsunami. Jeff, my brother, I love you. See you again someday, I know.

I digress from the weight-loss story to share some current developments. When a person loses the amount of weight that I have, there is excess skin that hangs from the abdomen and other places. The fat burns away and some muscle replaces it, but the skin is stretched out over the years of putting on weight. In my case, decades. Unfortunately, this skin doesn't shrink or burn off like the fat. It's a bit like a deflated balloon. Often times I wonder why shows such as The Biggest Loser never tell anybody about that part of the experience for extremely obese people.

Everything else about my weight-loss has been spectacular, but this problem has remained for me. Well, after numerous approaches at getting help for this malady, I went for a physical checkup this week. After a thorough examination, it was determined that the huge apron of skin hanging from my abdominal area was causing a medical problem. This means that my insurance can cover the skin removal surgery and I am scheduled for a surgical consultation about 10 days from this writing. This is joyous news that I really wanted to share with all of you. I'm nervous about it because it's major surgery, but it's also something I've been praying for. Thank the Lord for this blessing among many others.

This skin at the abdominal region is called the panis. It is the most difficult, unattractive, and plain undesirable leftover flesh to deal with on my body. It has been estimated by the trainers at FullForce and myself that there is about  20-30 lbs. of it. Not good! But now there seems to be light at the end of this tunnel. There are other places I'd like to have skin removed, but this is the major problem and it looks like it's going to be handled.

I'm told there will be some pain and 4-6 weeks recovery time. Naturally, this means time away from the gym. I'll have to be extra diligent about eating right as I fight the possible boredom. But I've got a phenomenal community behind me now that will help and encourage me every step of the way. I never dreamed I'd know so many good hearts and kind souls.

Well, next time I should be back on track from where I left off last time, but I also want to keep you posted as this latest development...er...develops!

See you later...