Breaking Away

As the story continues, I have turned 26 years old and become very restless. Through a temporary agency, an employment niche has been created through an assignment on the assembly line for Apple Computer. The job was a 6-month assignment in Fremont, CA. When the 6 months was up, I qualified for unemployment insurance. As a rule, temps at Apple were not permitted to return for 6 months after completion. So, for 3 years I was 6 months on, 6 months off with at least some income consistently.

At the start of the 1st employment period, I made a firm decision to finally, finally, finally move out of my parents' house. My body was swelling and my pride was shrinking. I had the very good fortune to move into a modest, but decent 1-bedroom apartment 10 minutes walking distance from my job. How nice for my first venture into living on my own!

There were two other factors I thought were very nice, as well. First, I was given the swing shift from 2 PM to 10:30 PM. Great! I could stay up late after work and sleep 'til noon if I wanted! And I often did. Second, my apartment was literally across the street from a 7-11 store. Can you imagine the implications for a person with my appetite of 24/7 access to pure processed crap as a reward for crossing the street? Sure, I understand now, but at that time I thought I was golden! Everything was within reach and I barely had any incentive to do much besides go to work, sleep late, and eat junk. Remember that this was 1987-1991. When I was on unemployment, I filled my time by walking to the good old 7-11, renting the latest video cassette, grabbing a big bag of chips or tray of nachos with plenty of cheese and chili and a super big gulp, and living it up. There was also my old ColecoVision video games (anybody remember those?).

Of course, I got to know people at work and made a few friends. Throughout my life I've managed to maintain some thread of social life because I interacted with people as if there was absolutely no weight problem going on. A lot of my life was being spent in denial. To some people, this was impressive enough to make them think I was a pretty cool guy...for a fat dude.

In the midst of all this, at age 28, I discovered the world of tournament chess. The game had always fascinated me since I learned to play at age 9. However, the means to officially compete eluded me. Then I played in my first tourney. I was HOOKED! I went out of my way to play in every local event I could find and some not so local. Finally there was something new that I could sink my teeth into besides the next quarter pounder. Another community was accessible and there was a new dimension to my life.

Now chess is a wonderful game. Really, the greatest game there is in my book. But how much exercise does anyone get pushing little plastic or wooden pieces around a 2' X 2' board. The brain gets plenty of exercise, believe me, when competing for cash prizes and national rating points. However, this game is physically VERY sedentary. I've been in single games that have lasted over 6 hours. Talk about brain fry! Over a weekend it wasn't unheard of to spend 20+ hours in play. I had no time for exercise, I was too busy trying to move up in rating class!

Then there were the big tournaments in Reno and Vegas. Here were lots of excuses to scurry off to the land of cheap buffets... Nowadays, I still compete, but very sporadically when it doesn't interfere with higher priorities, like WORKING OUT!! It's very very true, all things in moderation. I can now enjoy chess on my terms and let it be a nice part of my life instead of practically the only part.

This gets me to age 30 and, supposedly, the prime of life. It's indescribable how it feels to be living a 2nd prime! Stick around to find out how the first one went.

The time was drawing near for my friends to break away from the gym they worked for and lauch the juggernaut that is FullForce Personal Fitness. RG was cracking the whip and I was responding as if I couldn't get enough. More and more people were stopping what they were doing to talk to me, encourage me, pat me on the back. I was often being invited to spend time outside the gym with many of these lovely people. This was, and still is, a very surreal experience for someone who had been very used to ridicule and negativity.

As RG drew from his inexhaustible supply of ever more challenging workouts, that first digit changed from 5 to 4, then 4 to 3, then... I had a plan for what I'd do WHEN my weight got under 300 lbs. This plan was hatched almost a year before it became reality, but when it happened, I did not hesitate.

When I first started training at 532 lbs., I didn't care one tiny bit about how I looked to other people there. This lack of bashfulness was amplified when I weighed in at 297 lbs! I had not been under 300 for 20+ years. Well, what would you do? I got a big white board and wrote a big "297 lbs." on it with a colorized, circled and underlined 2. Then I walked straight through the front door of the gym, lifted the board over my head, and paraded around like a rock star on stage! I charged into one of my friend's office while she was with a client (oops!). Thankfully, she and her client forgave my rudeness as smiles lit our faces. It was like a damn Rocky movie!

Of course, this was not the end. There was (and always is) more work to do. As my friends began their foray into the business of fitness with their unique, personable, professional approach, I began splitting my time between the gym and the new personal fitness facility.

More to come...

Allow Me to Interject...

I was thinking about getting tickets to see the world's greatest band, RUSH, for their November show in San Jose, CA, when the idea for this blog struck me. You see, I've been to 5 of their concerts since 1992 with the last 2 in 2010 and 2011. In 20 years (wow, it's been that long?) not only have the shows changed, but my physical energy and endurance before, during, and after them have changed dramatically!

The concert in 2004 was at the Concord Pavilion. My best buddy joined me as we happily drove up to the venue and parked in the gravel lot. Just getting out of the car was the first physical challenge. I was so large at that time that when I drove, my belly crowded the steering wheel. Every time I got out of the car, it was as if my car was giving birth to me. How did I ever put up with that experience thousands of times?

As we traversed the parking lots and climbed the rise up to the admission gates (oh yeah, there's the little matter of turnstiles, lotsa fun, eh?), I huffed and puffed and started to sweat. We even had to stop and take a break a little more than halfway there. It seemed like we were crossing the state just to get from the car to our seats. I was so slow we missed the opening song which galled me to no end. My friend was very patient with me. Then there was the little matter of my seat. The whole show I had to wedge myself in sideways or sit on the edge of the seat which was no fun for my back and legs. It was a fantastic show, but I could never be comfortable.

Well, 2011 was very very different! Once again they played at the Concord (now called Sleep Train) Pavilion. I parked in the same lot, crossed the same route as in '04, waited in a long, long line to buy a tour shirt, and went to my very comfortable seat which had plenty of room for the new me. I was so dynamic that just as my less than half of what it used to be butt hit the seat, the lights went down and the show began!! I felt like I was magically charmed and electrically charged!

By the way, this time that walk from my car to the front gate was a breeze. Not only did I not sweat or take any breaks, I didn't even get winded! Didn't even think about the energy I'd need for the stroll. As a matter of fact, it was all I could do to contain myself and not sprint the last 100 yards or so! And I'm sure my car gets slightly better gas mileage now that it has 300 less pounds to carry around in the driver's seat...

Now this is only one of infinitely many cases of how life is exponentially more enjoyable and positive when the change to a healthier life-style is achieved. I've said many, many times that if anybody who is where I was in the old days could experience how I feel now for 24 hours, they wouldn't hesitate to get started, do the work, and earn the strong, healthy body they deserve to have. 3 little words, DISCIPLINE BRINGS REWARDS!!!

So, getting back to this show in November, tickets aren't too unreasonably priced. Any RUSH fans out there want to go with? Rock on...

         

Don't bother me, I'm trying to concentrate!

Hamming it up...you oughtta see me do Karaoke!



25 and Barely Alive

As ages 25-26 came around, my 6-month warehouse job came to an end. Still living at home (one of a few things that make me cringe to mention), I drew unemployment and kept score at the bowling alley to maintain funds. I began piling up credits at the local community college which included my first tour of calculus, which I rather enjoyed. This kept me from thinking I was being a total slacker. For recreation I was very involved in bowling and the little community at the little bowling center I mentioned in a previous post. There was the occasional Reno or Vegas trip where I learned that this gambling stuff wasn't quite as easy as the first couple of go-rounds. But there was always a buffet close by to ease the pain of my losses or celebrate the joy of my wins. To round things out, there were a few friends to play tennis and/or poker with. Basically, I was filling up an empty life while I was filling up my belly.

In this time period my weight was hovering around 330 lbs., which significantly alarmed me. I decided to try something truly drastic in an attempt at weight-loss. A wager was agreed to with a tennis/bowling/poker buddy. He bet me that I couldn't get under 300 lbs. in 1 calendar month. So, I weighed in on the first and the bet was on. I can't remember the dollar amount or the exact weight at the beginning, but the fact was I had a mission to complete.

How I managed to pull this off without collapsing from exhaustion or malnutrition is truly a mystery. I began on a Monday and ate one meal per day and only drank water the rest of the time. On the weekends I completely fasted, drinking only water. This was my insane idea of what drastic weight-loss required. As for exercise, I worked out heavily with weights; bench presses, curls, overhead presses, whatever I could think of to do. I figured the work out was not over until my muscles were shot. Then I took a day off. Then I worked out 2 days in a row and took 1 day off. Then 3 days in a row and a day off, following this sequence for as long as the month permitted. I think it got to where I worked out 6 straight days at the end. Well, I knew I was losing weight by the way my clothes were loosening and how my muscles ached. Unfortunately, I felt like along with the weight I was also losing my mind.

The big day finally arrived and we approached the scale to settle the score. Much to my chagrin and bitter irony, the scale read exactly 300 lbs.! I had lost 30+ lbs in a month, but was not below 300 as the original bet stipulated. This was the height of frustration for a person who easily got frustrated. Fortunately, my friend had mercy on me and declared the bet a push. Looking back, I think it was a fair and sporting gesture. It would have broken my spirit to go through all that and still have to cough up the money.

So, was I able to sustain this craziness? What do you think? The very next day, I made a bee line for Carl's Jr. and ordered up. Never did food taste better than that day and time. I didn't fall off the wagon, I jumped off with a Tarzan yell! As time passed, that crazy diet and exercise routine -- along with the 300 lb. scale reading -- became not even a speck in the rear view mirror.

The moral of the story: If you want to achieve a healthy weight loss, do it with common sense and, if possible, a professional by your side to guide and educate you. Exert yourself as your body permits and eat healthy, clean foods. Hydrate! It makes me shake my head to think about my old futile attempts. Even nowadays I overhear people talk about what diets or workout programs they're on and want to jump in the conversation, but nobody's going to listen to me if I come across like a tactless know-it-all.

So, am I ever going to move out of my parents' house? (yes) Will I ever be able to support myself? (yes) Find out next time... 

At this time I'm scrambling to get new pics, please bear with me. In the meantime, on with the story...

 My original trainer was gone and I had severed my connection with my 3 amigos. I was on my own. I was determined not to give up. I'd come too far to quit now. Getting my arse into that gym at least 5 days per week was top priority. Each day I walked in, I didn't know exactly what I was going to do. But, by golly, I did it! And the pounds continued to drop thanks to the knowledge that had been accumulated to that point. However, there was no sense of advancement of my training. I couldn't show myself any new exercises. When was the right time to increase the weight in any certain exercise? An effective workout program calls for continuous learning, muscle confusion, and "leveling up".

Finally, I wised up and decided to ask for help. By this time, these 3 trainers had many clients to tend to as their skills became evident. Things couldn't go back to the way they used to be, so I decided to choose 1 of them, pay what I could, and elevate my "game". This gentleman immediately started to show me some new moves which were exhausting, but I knew I was absolutely back on the right track! RG, as I'll call him (ok with you, boss?), restored my balance with carefully planned workouts 3 times per week and always sent me merrily off to do cardio after each strenuous resistance session. Journal inspections came back into the mix. One move in particular I can recall was an exercise called a bear crawl. This was oh, so tough to do at that time and he made me do it regularly in ever increasing distances along the gym floor as I left sweat trails in front of all the nice ladies and gentlemen. Aaahh...lovely memories...

Eventually, FullForce Personal Training was launched and I followed. While the others fill in when necessary, RG continues to be my primary trainer to this day and I'm very proud to represent him as one of his many "never quite finished" products.

Tune in for another episode of "All My Workouts".

A Bit of a Detour

I'd like to digress in this post in order to share with you a couple of recent happy developments. We will return to the riveting tour-de-force that is my life story (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) along with my weight-loss journey in the next post. And I'll do all I can for some new pics.

I recently interviewed for 2 part-time jobs which I felt very qualified to fill. A week or so ago, I received the good news that I had been hired as an assistant GED instructor. While this is a blessed result, the point is that my weight-loss played a key roll in the process, albeit in a subtle way.

In January 2002, I left the best paying job of my life. Good decision or bad, I felt a strong urge to concentrate on obtaining my Bachelor's Degree and in September 2003, it was earned. While the achievement made me happy, I was unemployed.

At this time, the reality of the job search world hit me hard. I put in applications for many jobs. My resume looked good along with my graduate status. Interviews were appointed for me time after time, but that was where things would always grind to a halt. It was during this period that I was at the zenith of my obesity (it didn't help that my last job paid so well for sitting 8-12 hours a day for 4+ years). Every time I walked into the interview room, I felt like there was 2 strikes against me, and it showed. As time passed, I noticed the very real fact that many employers downright discriminate against obese people. There are many kinds of hiring discrimination that people campaign against in the media, but this type doesn't really get any attention. Ladies and gentlemen, this absolutely goes on in the work place. The employer(s) see an obese person coming and immediately think "liability". They smile, go through the motions of the interview process, say thank you very much, and reject you out of hand.

I managed to survive until I obtained a tutoring position through a telephone interview. The real irony is that while I still have this job after 5+ years, I've never met any of my bosses face to face. Then the weight-loss happened and everything turned around 180 degrees! I acquired a part-time position at a Goodwill store. Things were improving. I was confident, felt good, and able to really impress on more recent interviews. When the opportunity arose, I included the story of my recent past and it was always a hit with whoever was questioning me. Well, my tutoring experience combined with my new swagger and confidence paid off and I go for orientation and paperwork next week! It's just a plain fact that IF you make a change for the better, life will turn around for you.

In other news, I have been medically cleared for surgical removal of the excess skin left hanging from the abdominal region. This is very exciting for me because while the loss of weight has been a blessing beyond reason, the skin in many places had been stretched out over the decades of obesity. While the fat burns off, the skin does not, and the abdominal overhang was the most prominent and difficult to live with. Anyone who is extremely overweight like I was should be prepared for this as they lose weight, but don't let it be a deterrent. If I had to choose between carrying around all that fat or just the loose skin for the rest of my life, believe me, the choice would be a no-brainer!

So that's it. I go in for the procedure August 21 to yet again enter a beautiful new chapter in my life! May your life be so blessed.

Aw, Grow Up Already!

Well, let's see now. I've turned 18, graduated high school, and am now supposedly an adult. A prelude to my future young adulthood, I got quite relaxed in my senior year except for the math courses. I had minimum wage jobs sporadically. Before hi-tech came along, I worked keeping score for the bowling leagues to make $10-$20 per night under the table. My attempts at college were half-hearted. The point is that my increasing obesity was making me unambitious which increased the obesity and round and round.

At 19, I worked as a telemarketer (ugh!) and was introduced to smoking pot. This was certainly a new twist in an already twisted life. It's not difficult to figure out what effect that had on my weight. As I began to socialize with my co-workers, they developed a nickname for me: Coke Man. I was drinking large amounts of Coca-Cola at work, at play, at home, wherever. I was rarely seen around without a bottle of Coke in my hand. There is no doubt that the soda did more to bloat me up than ANYTHING else. It went with everything I ate and stood alone when I wasn't eating. If you want to do 1 huge favor for yourself, give up the sodas. NOW!

As I entered my 20's, I was still living with my folks and without any real focus. One of my truly huge mistakes was not attending college and graduating with my class. If I had been on track, I'd have been a college grad by 1983 with mathematics and computer knowledge at a very opportune time. It was about this time that a few new inventions came out: the compact disc, the computer mouse, and other little novelties. A talented programmer in those days had it made. I didn't make it. Instead, I watched the beginning of the computer revolution pass me by.

The places I worked didn't help much with the weight problem. A fish and chips restaurant, a Baskin & Robbins, 7-11 and other convenience stores, self-serve gas stations all with access to free soda and edibles. So I had countless jobs but no career. My parents actually wanted me to live with them rent free and I wasn't really motivated to get out on my own.

Life drifted along until the age of about 24. At this time I finally landed a full-time "real" job working in a warehouse. It was a 6 month assignment but it was a start. Also, I was part of a tight knit community based in a little 10 lane bowling center in downtown Hayward, CA. My resume improved along with my bowling skills. Tennis became a hobby along with the occasional poker game. Little things that helped me feel somewhat more "grown up".

Age 24 is about the time I passed the 300 lb. mark. It was also the time a few nice things happened as well. I was a member of a tournament bowling organization and in one tourney I came in 3rd place to win $100. Then came the tournament I actually took 1st place for $500! In 1985 dollars! The money is long gone but I still have the pennant declaring me as champion. Then there was my introduction to casino gambling. I went with my friends from the bowling community up to Reno on 2 trips. The first time I sat down at a blackjack table I won $300. Then the 2nd trip I sat down at the table with $40, played there all night and walked away with $1000! Wow, this gambling stuff was sure easy! And everywhere I turned around there were nice, cheap buffets to indulge my ever more demanding appetite.

Life goes on in the next post as I struggle to actually GET a life...

From rags...

 

...to riches!

So the training was moving right along as I learned, worked, ate, lived and breathed this new way of life. My 3 friends stayed right with me and trained me as I didn't miss a session. The bi-weekly weigh-ins were a big event and more people around the gym were taking notice. On days in between the training sessions, I used an area inside the gym as a makeshift indoor track. I just went in and walked laps around the path I carved out. Later on I started carrying increasingly heavy dumbells as I walked. Then I'd curl them or press them as the laps piled up. It was an effective way for me to supplement my regimen.

As all this was going on, I maintained contact with my original trainer and we'd email or speak on the phone occasionally. We confided in one another about a few personal things. After a little over a year since that first day I walked into the gym, I made a decision. I felt a sense of loyalty toward this first person - yeah, let's call it that - and made preparations to go back to training with her as a private client. I rationalized that I couldn't take advantage of these 3 people forever training with them for free. To say the least, it didn't go over smoothly. You're supposed to learn from your mistakes. I was about to learn volumes! (By the way, when it comes to making mistakes, I am a GrandMaster...)

The next phase of training with my original instructor consisted of outdoor exercise. We'd meet at a certain park or the local community college and I was running up and down little hills with a backpack full of books. Also, I'd do many many exercises with weights, body weight resistance, and calisthenics in the great outdoors. On days in between, I'd still go to the gym and do water aerobics, spin class, and walk my laps with the weights until it felt like my arms would fall off.

After a while, though, it was becoming clear that she was losing her enthusiasm for training me. At times we'd have sessions where she was just mailing it in. I was really questioning my decision to leave my tag team. Then came the day (April 3, 2010 to be exact) she simply disappeared. We were scheduled for a training session and I showed up but she didn't. No call to cancel, nothing. I left message after message on her voice mail, but she never returned any of them. She was just gone.

I have a tendency to smother a person with gratitude when he or she does something nice for me. Well, I felt like this first trainer had done me the biggest favor in my life that first day at the gym. I was profusely grateful. It took a while, but when it became clear that she was gone, I became bitter. My resentment toward this person surpassed the gratitude, which was no small thing. After a very very long time all those intense emotions faded and now I just shrug all that old stuff off.

But at this point of the story, I felt abandoned and at a loss for what to do next. A real case of "What do I do now?" So what did I do? Tune in next time... 

For My Brother

It came to my realization that while my teenage years were centered around high school as most of us can relate, I have left one or two enormous gaps in my story outside the classroom.

In December 1977, when I was 16 years old, my brother died at the age of 27. This is the brother that took me to movies, gave me rides on his motorcycle, etc. He was a real paradox to me. I really looked up to him as a source of relief from a rather gloomy youth. This man could make anybody laugh. Anybody! He could have been a stand up comic from my point of view. Did you ever experience a laughing fit while sipping a soda and having it pass through your nasal cavity? He did that to me. He could command the room at will.

Also, he was a stupendous bowler. Our family has bowling in our blood and my brother lead the way. He could use either hand, roll it between his legs, make trick shots, whatever. I was told that the occasional sponsor would check him out.

He made me profoundly aware of the music of the times. I'd ride with him when he drove for the Union City Flea Bus System. Many, many times I hung out where he'd work for 1/4 lb. Hamburgers, the Bay Area chain of fast food restaurants. Little did I know, this was another prod toward obesity as I chowed down on free hamburgers, fries, and Cokes. I went with him on his routes when he sold meat out of a company van. He was a REAL salesman! He cornered the market on charisma, so it's no surprise he was popular with the ladies.

But then there was the other side of the coin. Like my sister, he got caught up in drugs. He didn't go to the lengths she did as far as victimizing family and friends, but he was ultimately self-destructive. When I was stuck practically raising my sister's kid, he would occasionally add on by dropping off the baby daughter of his best friend while they would go out couples partying. So that meant I'd have 2 babies to care for from time to time. Gives new meaning to the old phrase "bonus baby".

By the time he became a father, I was 15 and had repressed the bad things I saw in him and basically turned a blind eye to how bad things were getting for him. He had a heart murmur but wouldn't stop using. Thank God at least at that time I resisted when he or my sister tried to get me to experiment. They both knew I drew the line when it came to that junk!

Then, quite suddenly, he became hospitalized. We'd visit, but I didn't know the severity of his condition. As a newly licensed driver, I drove to the hospital one day for what I thought would be a routine visit. As I was walking in, my other brother was walking out. I asked him how he was doing. He just said, "He's gone." Just like that. He was gone.

To this day I think of how very very different life would be had he lived and not done the drugs. Where would our paths have lead? What would we be doing? Anyone's life being cut short like that causes a hell of a ripple effect. As far as I'm concerned, this was a tsunami. Jeff, my brother, I love you. See you again someday, I know.

I digress from the weight-loss story to share some current developments. When a person loses the amount of weight that I have, there is excess skin that hangs from the abdomen and other places. The fat burns away and some muscle replaces it, but the skin is stretched out over the years of putting on weight. In my case, decades. Unfortunately, this skin doesn't shrink or burn off like the fat. It's a bit like a deflated balloon. Often times I wonder why shows such as The Biggest Loser never tell anybody about that part of the experience for extremely obese people.

Everything else about my weight-loss has been spectacular, but this problem has remained for me. Well, after numerous approaches at getting help for this malady, I went for a physical checkup this week. After a thorough examination, it was determined that the huge apron of skin hanging from my abdominal area was causing a medical problem. This means that my insurance can cover the skin removal surgery and I am scheduled for a surgical consultation about 10 days from this writing. This is joyous news that I really wanted to share with all of you. I'm nervous about it because it's major surgery, but it's also something I've been praying for. Thank the Lord for this blessing among many others.

This skin at the abdominal region is called the panis. It is the most difficult, unattractive, and plain undesirable leftover flesh to deal with on my body. It has been estimated by the trainers at FullForce and myself that there is about  20-30 lbs. of it. Not good! But now there seems to be light at the end of this tunnel. There are other places I'd like to have skin removed, but this is the major problem and it looks like it's going to be handled.

I'm told there will be some pain and 4-6 weeks recovery time. Naturally, this means time away from the gym. I'll have to be extra diligent about eating right as I fight the possible boredom. But I've got a phenomenal community behind me now that will help and encourage me every step of the way. I never dreamed I'd know so many good hearts and kind souls.

Well, next time I should be back on track from where I left off last time, but I also want to keep you posted as this latest development...er...develops!

See you later...